“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery—isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” -
Charles Bukowski [Factotum]
Video from the 2005 film adaption.
Hungover, with minimal sleep, entering a new country with no cash. I was brooding. Of course It worked out, but I couldn’t handle it. We landed, and arrived at our bed for the night. It was a travellers mecca, roof top bar, free drinks, and other nomads.
We quickly got drunk, danced and fell in love. Her name was Sophie, her friend was Erin. They were both perfect. We danced around the bar, drinks in hand, and laughed, running through the filthy streets as our first night in Viet Nam slipped away. More drinks, cigarettes and near-kisses. I selfishly hated Sophie’s loyalty, she valued her ties to the reality she held back home and I didn’t. I had left no ties.
We woke and she was gone. Talk about perfection.